There are certain gay archetypes accepted in the heteronormativity that rules our society, and this is somewhat related to it. Basically, having slash ships is acceptable, taking them seriously is not.
Some people portrait slash shippers as crazy girls who embarrass the rest of the fandom. They consider that slash ships shouldn’t be taken seriously. That it should be enough with the fanfic and having your fun in fandom. That’s why bothering the crew/cast with questions about those ships is rude, apparently.
They don’t even realize how homophobic thinking that two ‘straight’ guys falling in love with each other is absurde is.
But you know what? It’s very okay to ship Sterek. And it’s very much okay to tell Jeff Davis, too. As long as you’re respectful and don’t pressure or insult him, there’s nothing to be ashame of. We shouldn’t apology for shipping Sterek, there’s nothing wrong with it!
You want to change things? Well then, start changing the way you see slash ships, accept the fact that they are as any other hetero ship, as any other canon ship. They are as valid as any of them.
And stop apologizing for other fans, altogether. That’s not your responsibility, nor your job. Some Sterek shipper may have been too insistent about it at the panel today, but that’s their business, not yours.
I want to add something: Some fans are crazy. I’m talking about fans in general. There are things that are not okay, no matter the fandom, the ship or the person. Be respectful, respect if the key for any relationship to work. Even fandom/creator’s.